My fellow degenerates!! Season’s back!!! Another year to lose money on St. John’s Basketball… or is it? Do as I say, and you’ll be just fine. Trust me.
First things first: if you’re an SJU student and do not want to have to worry about paying back your tuition, I have a great solution for you! Peep below: ⬇️
Please don’t actually bet that, and if you do — you are a true degenerate piece of trash and you have my outright respect.
Start with a BANG
All jokes aside now, we must be smart and methodical. We must see the line, read the line and be the line. We have to know our team and be as unbiased as possible. The Johnnies have disappointed in the past so we can not just take them every game out of pure love. With that being said, it’s already time to HAMMER the Johnnies! Now I know you may be thinking, “Isn’t this the same Saint Peter’s team that had me sweating my ass off when we almost blew a 20 point 2nd half lead?” Yes my friend, you are exactly correct. However, this time I feel we cover with ease and here’s why!
No Champagnie? No Problem!
I would like to address that Julian Champagnie is a game time decision, but sources close to Barstool St. John’s suggest that he will NOT be playing. But let’s be real, Saint Peter’s fucking sucks. Regardless if he plays or not there is no excuse for us to not smoke these bums.
We should’ve beat them by 40 last year but we took our foot off the brake and got lazy.
Red Storm Depth
With a lot of talented newcomers hungry to earn minutes, we should outpace them and defensively lock them up so bad they are going to feel like they are on Revis Island. (Shoutout to the 0-10 NY Jets)
We are bigger than them. (Brolic Josh Roberts and Arnaldo Toro)
We are more versatile than them. (Rah, Posh and Isaih Moore)
We can outshoot them. (Vince Cole and White Lightning Caraher)
We are stronger than them. (Cellus and Wusu would be our starting DE and LB if we had a football team)
We are more way athletic than them. (Queue the SportsCenter Top-10 play of Greg Williams ending a man’s life)
And lastly and most importantly, we have the future KING of the Big East, Iron Mike Anderson as our head coach. He is about to bully the Saint Peter’s coach.
The 11 point spread is due to change but I would take the Red Storm with certainty on anything 15 points or less. Realistically there’s no reason we do not win by 20+. (UPDATE: LOL)
Be sure to keep an eye out on our Twitter account for my betting predictions for every game.
PSA for my Pennsylvania Johnnies fans
Are you guys tired of having to constantly switch bookies when you consistently hit parlays to the point you take their mortgage?
Fear no more! Join the Barstool Sportsbook with Penn National Gaming and all your problems will disappear! They’ll never go broke, I mean look at Penn’s stock. To the moon.